I had promised myself that I will not give this said person any more air time as I, myself, feel like vomiting if I had to write about him one more time. I have totally moved on from the episode and I do not need to feed on the attention from that incident.
Why I feel I need to write about this one last time, is what I have learnt post-incident - values that I feed this world desperately needs to pass down to future generations.
I came across this episode being passed on Facebook. In it, news anchor, Jennifer Livingston of WKBT News Network, stood up for herself when a man sent in a rude email attacking her physique. You can find out more about the incident by clicking the clip below:
While the comments from this man meant nothing to her, Jennifer wants the world to know that actions/words like these are not okay and we have to be brave to take a stand.
We need to teach the younger generation by EXAMPLE - to be kind. Where is the love?
Likewise for me in the attached episode, the man who engaged my services but refused to pay up after the job was completed actually said even more nasty things, which I did not print screen to show the world. In our conversation, he also boasted about how his most recent project closed in at $200k.
Good for him, but I am just a honest Designer, perhaps earning much less than him.
WHAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD IS THE CONCEPT OF KARMA IS REAL and bullying is not to be tolerated.
This man owns a brand that supplies drinks to an online grocery store. After the incident, you know people from all walks of life got connected with me and you will not believe it:
One of these people was actually the developer of the website of this online grocery store and KNOWS THE STAFF IN THERE.
The world is simply just so small. Once you have stayed in the creative industry for some time, you will soon realise everyone is connected, making it harder for ugly deed like this to leave no trail. He said, he can warn the brand to stop taking supplies from this dodgy supplier anytime but I told him I have decided to let this man off and that I am happy that the sum went on to benefit a cause that I truly believe in.
Some background information here:
I have an 8-yr-old dog named Heidi. She was only 4 weeks old and weighed 1.2 kg (she could fit my palm) when I adopted her off the street. She had a wound on the left side of her body but adopting her is one of the best choices I have made in my life. She is completely gentle, loving and incredibly intelligent. This goes on to prove that all dogs deserve a loving home. If you live in a landed/private property in Singapore (mongrels are sadly not HDB approved) and you are currently looking at the possibility of owing a dog, perhaps you can look at these sweet (street) dogs instead.
To the said person who managed such awful deeds without feeling guilty:
I have a few questions for you if you manage to read my entry
1) Have you ever considered how your parents will feel if they find out this is how you behave outside? Don’t you want them to feel that they have brought you up with the right values and that you turn out to be a person they are proud to call their son?
2) When you treat someone badly, have you ever thought that this person has parents too and that he/she is precious to the parents?
3) I let you off knowing that you have, but just started a company yourself. I will never forget how hard it was for me when I first started on my own. It definitely doesn’t come easy, but the journey has been absolutely rewarding. I could have destroyed your reputation in a single blog entry, giving your start-up no chance to survive at all. Have you considered that your actions would have dragged an innocent business partner along with you?
4) Do you think that your deeds would leave no trails and have absolutely no consequences?
Maybe you had not.
But I had.
There is no way a start-up could have blossomed in such a short time, enough for you to start saying all those words to make someone else feel bad/small. Whatever happen to humility?
When I was just a junior Designer in small design agencies, I had the great fortune to meet absolutely inspiring business owners who showed me how to live through their grace and it is through their examples that made me decide to let this man off despite all the evidence I have on hand. Till today, these inspiring business owners are still in my life showing me the way to live (Ruby of Stalford Pte Ltd, Mr Chang of General Filters, etc) Also, in my early years as a Designer, I did a lot of freelance jobs, and although I worked like crazy, I did not get paid for months after that. I told myself that should one day I have the chance to actually hire others, I will never make them feel that way. I want every one who works for me to work happily, and feel that they are being paid justifiably (on time) for their efforts. I am proud to say, I have kept this promise to myself pretty well.
I am very sure that was not the first time that man had used “law” to get away with his deeds else he wouldn’t be so brave to stick with the threat throughout his conversation with me. He thought I was scared of him and wouldn’t put in the extra work/hours figuring out what to do next.
I must emphasise that a lot of things simply fall into place for me: No one would have expected that when I msged Dan (my friend) to relate the incident, he would be dining with a lawyer at that exact moment. Karma must have caught up with this guy. The next time he does such deed again, he will have it worse than what I could have done. The Universe has a way of teaching people lessons they refuse to learn.
You may think letting him off is way too light for him. But what I wish to share here is why kindness is important.
I myself, thought that that was the end too. But the outpouring of kindness throughout Singapore has been absolutely inspiring and completely unexpected. Pretty much like what Jennifer Livingston had shared in her YouTube video about the mean comment she had received.
I hereby leave a print screen of this message with you and it is just one of the many I had received. I do not bother to censor his particulars as my friend tell me even if I do, everyone can guess who he is (apparently G is a prolific marathon runner for charity here in Singapore)
We will attract people we ourselves are in life. So if you want to attract people who are loving, kind, nice and stand for the values you also believe in in life, be one yourself first.
"The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our deeds and actions."
Amazing lettering by artist Mimi Chao, you can follow her art to make your day here (took a print screen instead of just saving that pic cos I think that will be kinda rude without letting the world know who is the amazing person behind this)
This is something I have learnt from this episode and I feel that there is an absolute need for me to pen this one last time, because the future generation NEEDS TO KNOW THIS - that the world, can be an amazing place to live in, if we all do our part to make it lovely.
To aspiring young Designers, be brave to take a stand if you are ever bullied to protect your own dreams. You cannot believe how my close gfs have persuaded me not to pursue the truth as they were 1) scared 2) worried 3) think the amount just doesn’t justify. Why I was brave: You must first love. I simply love Design and I will never forget how I was made to feel when I first started out and wish no one will be made to feel the same again, especially if they have worked hard for things.
Daniel, a veteran in the industry, also highly encouraged me to blog about everything to help young designers. The more we share such knowledge, the more we can bulletproof this industry against ugly deed like this. I know nothing is 100% but we should never underestimate how a small ripple can cause a tide of change and what unity can do.
I wish to emphasize that I am not a saint but I have been shown the way through the grace of others.